Laugther is the Best Medicine!
My
Picture
Hubby :
You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Wife :
When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at
your picture and the problem disappears.
Hubby :
You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Wife :
Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other
problem can
there be greater than this one ?"
No
Problems Yet!
Girl :
When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles
and
lighten your burden.
Boy :
It's very kind of you, darling, But I don't have any worries or
troubles.
Girl :
Well that's because we aren't married yet.
Good
Dad!
Son :
Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to
give up seat to a lady.
Mum :
Well, you have done the right thing.
Son :
But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Nite
Golfing
Wife to husband :
"What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the
night?"
Husband to wife :
"Golfing with friends, my dear."
Wife to husband :
"What ? At 2 a.m. ?!"
Husband to wife :
"Yes, We used night clubs."
Fortune
A newly married man asked
his wife,
"Would u have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly,
"I'd have married u NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"
Report Card
Father to son after exam:
"let me see your report card."
Son :
"My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his
parents."
Blind Date
"How was your blind date?" a college student asked her
roommate.
"Terrible!" the roommate answered. "He showed up
in his 1932 Rolls
Royce."
Wow! That's a very expensive car. What's so bad about that?"
He was the original owner."
Return To
Sender
In a tiny village lived an old maid.
In spite of her old age, she was still a virgin.
She was very proud of it.
She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local
undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her
tombstone:
"Born as a virgin, lived as a virgin, died as a
virgin."
Not long after, the old maid died peacefully,
and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said.
The men went to carve it in,
but as the lazy no-goods they were,
they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long.
They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."